Life is not unfair, people are

Did I hurried to explore life? Is it really fair to be judged by other people just because of a decision that I’ve made? I’m just a simple girl who wants to live with a simple life. But in a single step that I made, half of my soul was judged. If I didn’t opposed time, if I can alter moment, maybe this would not happened. “You’re too hasty, so stubborn. See! You’re the topic of that maleficent gossip”, my mother said while furiously confronting me. My face is as red as apple as shame slaps my soul. Then a handful of disappointment whacked on my cheek. An incisive question followed that made me dumb. “Of so many guy in your school, of so many boys of your age, why is it that you chose him? Suddenly tears drop on my eyes that lead me to cry. I admit that I hurried to have a boyfriend at a young age. My mother already knew it since then but she doesn’t confronted me because she knew that it’s just an infatuation until gossip started to spread. The issues were disseminated fast because we are living in the same barangay. The worst is he’s already fourth year high school student while I’m just first year .My mother reacted and was alarmed. She doesn’t want my life to be ruin by such issue. She doesn’t like that I’m the apple of the eyes of those gossipmongers. She doesn’t want my name and dignity to be wear out just because of my naughtiness and the stupidity of my nautilus shell. My parent ordered me to stop communicating with that boy which I did so without doubts. Thereafter, I studied hard and strived to be better to ease the disappointment of my family. I avoided accompanying my friends just to lessen the tension of the issue. I thought it will stop but it seems that the scars of my mistakes still on my neighbor’s mind who kept dragging me down. I was like a turtle hiding on my shell while the enemy is shooting me a bullet of judgment. Every time I see them, I think they are talking behind me, even they are really not. Maybe guilt washed my mind and fear wrapped my soul as I saw group of people talking in the corner. I felt there judgmental eyes focusing on me every time I’m with a guy and surely they think it’s my boyfriend. I want to go out in this box of unfairness and confront people on how they are unfair in criticizing me. I want to ask them if ‘am I sinful enough to be treated like this way. All I did was exploring the beauty of life, trying to experience what love is and enjoying the essence of being human. But how can I escape on this box if it is covered and surrounded by sharp claws of judgmental world? How can I request people to take a rest for a moment and stop criticizing my life if only I can do is to cry? How can I react if I know that in every action there is an equal and opposite reaction? How can I live peacefully if I lived in this unfair world and what should I do to be accepted by this greedy society? Life is not unfair, people are. I admit that I was really affected and became weak as judgment hit me. Now I’ve realized that exploring life includes heartbreaks, pains, renewal, forgiveness and acceptance. From this experiences, I am now wise and strong enough to face the wonder of life. I inferred that I should not be too haste in having something because at the end repentance may follow. But the experiences, lessons and wisdom is not regrettable. My first mistake made me wise next.